Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
