i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
