Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
