I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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