We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I love black thongs
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
my shit smells like andre
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
