There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
