i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
