New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
