I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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