The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Green mimosas i think yes
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
