I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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