Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
