Screwed.edu
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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