I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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