Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
