You smell like a Billy Joel song
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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