I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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