I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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