so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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