Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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