I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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