You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
