this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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