I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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