I wish I could punch you in the face.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
