woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
