I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
