You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
