I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
