good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Randomize
