I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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