Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
