My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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