Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I understand Curling. That high.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
