i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
