Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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