you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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