remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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