I wish i was in the wii world.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
