I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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