Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
