The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
