Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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