a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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