oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
