before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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