One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My penis needs a shock collar
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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