Moan for me like Helen Keller
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
