my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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