like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
