I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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