i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
