Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
